The January Diet Resolution
T’was the month after Christmas and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse,
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
The wine and the rum balls; the bread and the cheese,
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt,
And prepared once again to battle with dirt,
I said to myself, as only I can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,
‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie – not even a lick.
I’ll only just chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m grouchy, can’t fit through the door,
But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! ~ Author Unknown
My New Year’s Resolution over the Years:
2009: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2010: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2011: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2012: I will work out three days a week.
2013: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
2014: I will stay fit and healthy even if it kills me.
2015: I will lose weight by starting a diet and sticking to it… Is that cake?
2016: I will stick to my New Year’s resolution for more than one week.
2017: I will stop making New Year’s resolutions.
What is your New Year’s Resolution?